


Under The Rainbow

by lost_dragon



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:54:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22032883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lost_dragon/pseuds/lost_dragon
Summary: A story based on Dinko Šimunović's 'Duga' or 'The Rainbow'One thing is keeping Castiel away from Dean and he is bound to change it.A Romantic-period-like one shot that is short and fluffy, but angsty in the same time.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 6





	Under The Rainbow

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the story 'The Rainbow' by Dinko Šimunović

Castiel was always different. He wasn’t interested in all that stuff his friends were. He didn’t like to go out in the park and play with other boys, he didn’t like spending time with his father and learning about horses and running a household. He didn’t like what 19th century he was living in has to offer so he’d mostly spend his time in his room, studying and reading novels.

His father didn’t like that. Castiel was the only male child in his family so his father really put his hopes into Castiel. He bought him the best clothes, the shiniest shoes, he ate most wonderful food and had the best tutor in the town. But Castiel didn’t notice that.

One day during the spring, his father made him go on a little men’s party at Mayor's place. His dad hoped that he would find Castiel a decent job over there since Castiel just finished schooling and was ready to get a job.

Castiel wanted to be a painter. He loved creating with all different colours the world could offer. He felt like he’s leaving a trace in this world and he always wanted to paint more and more. But his father wanted him to be a lawyer or even worse, a judge. What could he do there? He would have to defend injustice and be haunted by all the victims he wronged. He would sometimes save lives but he would also ruin them and Castiel didn't want that. It would be a dark life and he wouldn't be able to live it.

When they arrived at the party Castiel took his coat off and placed it on a little chair that he was sitting on. It was a bit isolated from the table but he liked it. He didn't like much attention anyway. All he wanted was for this night to be over.

Mayor was a man who really appreciated people who would flatter him. So that is mostly what Castiel could hear during the dinner. Mayor was a man who took pride in everything he did, good or bad, as he thought he could never do bad, never do a mistake. Castiel hated people who wouldn't admit they were wrong. How smug you must be to think everything you do is divine and righteous? It irritated Castiel greatly.

At one point he got really annoyed by it and decided to go out and “have a smoke”. He doesn’t smoke but he needs a valid reason to exit or his father would get angry. To him, Castiel wasn't manly enough and needed to 'butcher up'. Castiel hated that expression. He was different and he liked the way he was, he just wished his father would accept it and move on. But he was stuck in this god awful place, during this god awful time with these god awful people.

He exited the house and found himself in a big yard full of flowers. It was night but Castiel could see every colour perfectly. It was like heaven. And it calmed him down so much he didn't notice someone joining him in the garden.

\- 'My mother planted every single flower in here when she worked for the mayor.' - said a voice Castiel didn’t recognise. He turned and saw a young man, probably in his 20ies, in a nice velvet suit. One hand in his pocket, the other holding a glass of what appeared to be gin. He had nice dark blonde (with just a pinch of brown) hair and green eyes like two little emeralds. Castiel immediately got lost. Everything seemed like a huge mistake but he enjoyed it. He enjoyed this man’s presence and he didn’t want to leave. So he just stood there, looking at the man, hoping he would continue to talk with his deep, soothing voice.

\- 'She’s dead now. My name Dean, and yours?'

\- 'Oh right, I’m Castiel. I’m sorry to hear that about your mother. My condolences.' - Castiel was really confused but he didn’t want to seem intimidated.

\- 'So what brings you here, Castiel?' - he started walking towards Castiel and sat on a bench right next to where he was standing.

\- 'My Father.' Castiel changed his expression to surprised to extremely irritated in just a second.

\- 'I menan't the garden but sure. Let me guess, you weren’t amused so you left to get some fresh air?'

\- 'What? Nooo! I’m amused it’s just that I had to smoke.' He managed a fake smile.

\- 'So why aren’t you?'

\- 'Why aren't I what?' - Castiel couldn't think straight. Dean's presence was so distracting.

\- 'Smoking.' Dean answered.

\- 'Oh...' - Cas glanced around.

\- 'Oh, indeed.' - Dean smiled. Castiel didn’t know what to say so he just lowered his head and stayed silent. - 'See, you might be lying but your eyes are telling the truth. I was on the party and believe me I know it’s boring. You had every right to leave.' - Dean took a sip of his gin.

Castiel was still silent. He looked at Dean trying to say thank you with his eyes and Dean just smiled.

\- 'Now relax man. Sit.'- Dean tapped on the spot next to him offering Castiel a place to sit.

\- 'Thanks.' - Castiel sat down. He could smell Dean’s nice cologne . He smelled like the finest chocolate. few moments passed in silence and Castiel got comfortable. He leaned back on the bench and threw his head back, pointing his deep blue eyes and his exhausted stare towards the sky. Dean examined Castiel's blue suit and paused a bit at his chest that were slowly moving while Castiel was breathing. Then he carefully glanced at Castiel's long and beautifully pale neck. The blue bowtie he was wearing went perfectly with it and wrapped his neck like a present for someone to place thousands of kisses on that neck. Castiel's jawline was even more beautiful. Sharp like a razor one could only wish to cut themselves on. And then Dean reached the eyes. He lost every thought, every word, every emotion. And just stared into the deep blue oceans that were Castiel's eyes.

Castiel felt Dean's eyes on him, his stare but he didn't care. He enjoyed it. And then Dean spoke.

\- 'It’s a nice night. The sky is clear. Don’t you think?'

\- 'Yeah. Stars are really beautiful.' Cas answered still lookin up the sky.

\- 'Yeah.' Dean leaned back and tore his look away from Castiel and pointed it towards the sky. 'They shine really pretty on that dark blue canvas that’s the sky.'

\- 'Yes.' - Castiel looked at Dean. And for a moment Castiel was struck with a feeling he couldn't explain. There was just this peculiar thing about this Dean who somehow seems to understand everything without Cas needing to point it out. And after that moment, he knew that this feeling is close to what some describe as love at first sight. He didn’t know if it was possible, that whole love at first sight, but he wanted to be next to Dean all the time. Listen to him, have him read his mind, know what Castiel wants, thinks, and tell that to him. He wanted Dean to always be there because he felt that Dean understands him. And now he's looking at him, using these few seconds before Dean looks back at him to really scan this man he started having wild thoughts for. Castiel couldn't help but smile.

\- 'Do you know some constellations, Cas?'- Dean looked at Castiel who was staring at him and Castiel immediately looked away.

\- 'Yes. I know a few. That is Orion.' Castiel pointed.

\- 'Yes. It is.' - Dean smiled. - 'Do you know which one is that one?'

\- 'Ursa Major.' Castiel nodded.

\- 'Good job. Do you observe stars often?'

\- 'No. I just learned them from the books. This is my first time.'

\- Your first time? - Dean shifted and was now facing Cas. - 'Well, it should be special then. You're a stargazing virgin.'

\- ' Haha, not just a stargazing one.' Castiel said quietly and Dean laughed.

\- 'Come with me.' - Dean stood up and offered a hand to Castiel.

\- 'I don’t know if I should, my father might be looking for me.' - Cas said half-heartedly.

\- 'Oh don’t worry. Your father is going to be in there for a long time. Mayor started talking about his childhood and that usually takes time.' - Dean smiled.

And he didn't need to say anything else to make Castiel come with him. Dean actually didn't need to persuade Castiel at all. Castiel only said 'no' the first time to be polite and not to come off as a person obsessed with Dean and his presence. Which he doesn't deny he is.

Castiel laughed and took Dean’s hand. Dean took them to the roof and they laid there for 4 hours doing nothing but talking about the stars and laughing about Dean’s childhood memories.

-'Once, me and my brother Sammy hid all of my dad's underpants, so he had to go with around with no underpants for 2 days. He found out it was us so I took the blame so Sammy wouldn't get a beating too. It was hilarious though.' - Dean told Cas.

\- 'I didn't know you had a brother, Dean.' said Cas while lying down on the roof of Mayor's house, his hands under his head, his face facing the sky, his body so close to Dean's that his elbows touch Dean's.

\- 'Oh, there's a bunch of things you don't know about me, like for example, I like playing this game where we take turns saying the words that begin with a same letter and the loser is the one who either can't think of a word or repeats a word that had already been said.' - Dean shifted and was now laying on his right side, supporting his upper body on his right elbow, looking down on Castiel's recumbent body in a beautiful blue and white suit, his vest unbuttoned, bow tie untied for more comfort.

-'I'll start' said Cas, still not changing his position. - 'America.'

-'Argentina.'

-'Armour.'

-'Army.'

-' _Amour_.'

-'That's a french word.' Cas paused and looked at Dean. Dean smiled.

-'Still counts.' Dean pointed out.

-'No it doesn't.' Castiel protested.

-'Yes it does!' - Dean pouted.

-'No id doesn't do you know how many languages there are? It's impossible to play it like that!' - Cas said a trifle testily.

-'Fine.' Dean gave up. -' Then _Angel_.' Dean smiled again.

And Castiel's heart filled with such joy he would have started crying if he wasn't too ashamed to. He wanted to scream 'I love you Dean!' at the top of his lungs but he knew that would be too weird. Even for him.

***

That was the best day in Castiel’s life. It’s been 3 weeks now and Castiel spent most of his time with Dean. And it was only them two. They’d go on walks and talk about pretty much everything. They went on picnics, fishing, they studied together, played games Dean would make up together...

Dean tried to persuade Castiel to stand up to his father and tell him about his dreams as a painter. Castiel still didn’t know how. He would get so close to telling him but as soon as his father would shout 'What do you want?' Castiel would back down.

Castiel started to get really comfortable with Dean and so did Dean with Castiel. This was really confusing Cas. He still couldn’t work out does Dean like him the way he likes Dean or is it just a friendly relationship. And that was killing Cas. He wanted to be with Dean. He wanted to hug him and never let go. He wanted to place kisses all over Dean’s soft, cold skin and he wanted to tell him most beautiful things and write most romantic poems.

But he was also afraid of what the society would think? What his father would think, what his mother would say? He knew that his father would give up on him and tell him to get lost from their house. These are hard times for someone like Castiel. Everyone is conservative in here, narrow-minded... It would be so much easier if he was a girl...

\- 'You know, Cas,' - Dean once said- 'I’d immediately marry you... If you were _a girl_...' Dean pointed out quietly, and a bit unsure of what he was saying. Like he knew he was lying and still said it just because it wouldn't be natural without the other part of the sentence. But truly, and _deeply_ , Dean knew he would marry Cas either way. If only, he could.

And that sentence ruined Castiel. He knew there was no other way to be with Dean than to become a girl. But how would he do that? How would he change who he was? It’s impossible in a world where he lives in. So he shut himself in. He didn’t go much out with Dean since then and he didn’t talk with his parents either. He just read novels and lived a life no one would like to have. One day, one of his relatives came. She’s his relatively old Aunt Suzy who always found solutions to his problems. She was more a mother to him than his own mother. So he asked her.

\- ‘Aunt Suzy, is it possible for a boy, to become a girl?’

\- ‘Oh Cassie! What’s gotten into you! You know that’s impossible!' - Suzy laughed but stopped when she saw that Castiel was serious. - 'It never happened but my neighbour had a son whose daughter wanted to become a boy so she ran under the rainbow and now _she_ is a _he_!’ - Suzy joked.

\- Really?! - Castiel’s eyes widened

\- 'Oh, Cassie!' - she laughed and left Castiel with his thoughts.

Castiel didn’t care if she was joking or not. He maybe found a solution to all of his problems. And how hard can it be?

***

Time passed and Castiel slowly started to think that the Idea he had about running under a rainbow was too silly. Then, one Saturday, The Mayor organised a hunt for his male friends and everyone was there. Castiel finally saw Dean againand the Idea struck him again, he needed it. He felt that one day they will be together he just needed to get a chance. They will be a family.

Everyone was sitting around a big table and exchanging hunting stories, when Castiel saw it. He saw the rainbow. He wasn't expecting it to happen now when everyone was here, but this was his chance, and he isn't going to waste it.

He saw it just a few miles away, down the hill, over the swamp and he couldn’t stop himself. He sneaked away so that no one could stop him and started running towards the rainbow. He ran and ran for full 5 minutes. He was out of breath but he didn’t care. He has to get to that rainbow. He thinks he’s getting closer he just has to cross the big swamp and he’ll reach it. So he jumped in it.

He tried to walk as fast as he could but all the plants in the water were making it horribly hard. He was still going. Water was now touching his waist but he didn’t care. He didn’t take his eyes of the rainbow. He didn’t want to lose it. Everything got harder all of a sudden, he tried to swim but he was tired, out of breath and his legs got stuck in all the underwater weeds that started pulling him down. He lost control. He started to drown. He screamed and started splashing trying to free himself but somehow he couldn’t. He didn’t have the strength to do it and he couldn’t breathe because of all the running he did.

\- 'Help! Dean! Help!' - he screamed but didn't plan to stop. This is _the chance,_ and he is _so close_ , he can almost reach it...

Dean was preoccupied with pretending to'listen' to the mayor but was actually casting his look around for Castiel, trying to spot him. He couldn’t see him. He got worried so he stood up and excused himself.

-’I’m gonna go do some business, I’ll be right back.’ - He said in a hurry. Mayor laughed and said something about boys being boys but Dean didn’t care, he just wanted to find Cas.

He was looking for him through the woods when he saw a shape in the swamp, splashing around like he was playing. He stood there watching it move and as his breathing slowed down he heard it. He heard a muffled, panicking voice shout like it’s dying. It was quick and Dean almost missed it but he heard it, a small, deteriorated _‘Dean!'_ and it hit him like a grenade hitting a shed - it’s _Cas_.

He didn't think much he just screamed for help and started running towards Castiel.

\- 'Cas! No!' - Dean screamed. Everyone looked in the Castiel’s direction.

\- 'That is my son! We have to help him!' - Castiel’s dad stood up and everyone started running towards him.

\- 'Cas!' -Dean shouted. Castiel couldn’t answer. He was trying to break free and swim towards the rainbow. He is so close. Just few more feet, he needs to get to it.

\- 'Cas, you idiot! No! What are you doing!' - Dean was shouting from far away while running to save Cas.

Cas tried to reach the rainbow with the last bits of energy he found in himself but it was all worthless. He couldn’t fight the swamp. He was too tired and the water was freezing. He could feel the cold stopping and freezing his heart. He just closed his eyes and let a small breath leave his mouth.

-'I need to be with you...' 

And he was gone. He let himself go. Weeds pulled him down, leaving nothing but his cloak floating on the surface. And as Dean was running towards the swamp, he saw Cas slowly stop moving and his heart was breaking into millions of pieces but he’ll be damned if he wasn’t going to reach Cas.

And he was damned.

By the time Dean got to the swamp, Castiel was long gone. The men pulled out Castiel’s body carefully and tried to revive him but it was all worthless. His body was cold but his skin was bright and shining in the dusky sun that appeared after a long rainy day. After that day Dean knew he missed something, something huge. And he couldn’t stop blaming himself. He went on long walks every day, thinking only about one thing, and one thing only. Castiel. Everything he missed was hitting him in the guts and strangling his emotions so Dean couldn’t speak much except saying ‘ _It was my fault_.’

***

After a few months Dean went to the swamp and watched the silent water shimmer in the sun. He cursed the water and took his coat of. As he stepped into the water he saw his reflection. He was a mess. And he couldn’t fix it. So he made another step, and another until his elbows were deep in the water. He felt the cold water take his body, and he felt the weeds drag him down. And it took him the same way it took his angel, the love of his life.

And the next moment he was gone. The deep green took him and it never gave him back.

You can still see the rainbow above the swamp. Even during the night if you really try hard. It’s waiting for Castiel to reach her. It’s going to stand there forever as a reminder to everyone that you shouldn’t change yourself to fit the world but to change the world to fit you. 


End file.
